balance

i tracked my food again yesterday, so that's now 5 days in a row... it's been a while since that happened! i didn't get out for any cardio... instead i spent the day waiting for hubby to decide what he wanted to do. i tend to put what i want/need to do on hold OFTEN because i'm waiting to see what HE wants to do, and i really need to figure out a better solution, because more often than not, it ends up with both of us doing nothing, and that's not really working for me!!

i've got my list of things that i want/need to do this weekend, and that list includes getting to the gym for cardio & weights! now i just need to figure out what i'm doing today and what can wait til tomorrow.

it's so frustrating sometimes. we both work full time, but when he gets home, his work is done and my second job is just beginning. i've tried to explain to him that i need his help... i need him to TAKE RESPONSIBILITIES for some of the stuff involved in keeping the house in order (and by take responsibility, i mean do things without being asked), but so far, it hasn't worked. so instead, i continue to struggle with finding time to do everything... taking care of myself, the house, the dog AND him! i wish i could get him to embrace a healthier lifestyle, because then that would be something that I NEED TO DO that we could do together, but i don't see that happening any time soon.

it seems like when i get to the point that i'm really trying to focus on me and taking care of myself, things between he and i suffers. and historically, things get to a point where i feel like i either need to end things or just cave and go back to how things have always been. what i need to do is find a happy medium, where i can take care of myself and have him be supportive by helping out. but i can only change myself, so that's what i'm going to do... focus on me! i just hope he can figure out how to be a part of that instead of making me feel like he's just one more obstacle for me to overcome!