made it to the gym yesterday and did my intervals. i was going to do c25k, but decided to try the galloway method, which would give me more recovery time between jogs. i did 1 min jog/4 min walk for an hour and covered just under 4 miles (walk was 3.7 until the last 2 intervals & jog was 4.8). the first half hour was good, i recovered well and felt fine... but the last half was much rougher... my hr just wasn't coming down as far as it probably should've. i actually skipped the 2nd to last jog because my hr was just too high. i'm going to talk to my trainer tomorrow to get his thoughts on how to approach this... i really want to be able to just go out and jog... eventually!
it wasn't a fantastic food day. it started fine, my usual breakfast. came home from the gym and had a protein shake. then it was off to help my sister pack/move, so i had a luna bar for lunch. by the time i got home, it was about 5:30 and i'd had just over 600 calories to eat, so i was starving! thankfully, my husband reminded me that i should probably have a snack, so cottage cheese and crackers did the trick. and then we decided to go out to dinner... red robin... i know what to order there that's not bad. but we started arguing on the way there... so i had a beer... then another... and a few fries... and ordered my chicken sandwich with the bun instead of lettuce. then we got home and i was still cranky... so i had some chocolate. total damage for the day was around 2500. on the bright side, i did burn just over 3000, so at least i was still at a deficit.
clearly i need to figure out a better way to deal with the emotions that come up when things get tense with hubby... beer, food & chocolate ARE NOT THE ANSWER!!!
today has been good so far... and will continue to be good for the rest of the day. i'm probably heading back to my sister's to help clean the apartment and move the last of the stuff (isn't it amazing how much STUFF there is when it's time to move?). i still need to get out for a walk with the dog, but that's probably going to be after i'm done with sis.
i need to get back to reading my response & advantage cards and figure out when i can do the eating experiments. those are going to be tough because of my workout schedule, but i think it's important that i at least try!
overall, it was a good week. one bad meal does not undo a week of good eating and exercise. i should be posting a loss for january... though it won't be nearly as much as i had hoped for. the good days out numbered the days with room for improvement... and i'm happy with that!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
owie
working out with my trainer + spin = OWIE!!! i'm was so sore yesterday, and not much better today!
thursday was a good day, and so was yesterday. i didn't read my response cards or advantage cards, but i was mindful of my eating and felt good overall. today i'm going to be helping my sister pack and do some moving... maybe painting, too. i'm not sure what time i need to get over there, but my plan is to head to the gym for some treadmill intervals before we get started (i'm leaving as soon as i get this posted!).
did i mention that my trainer wants me to do the st patty's day dash (3.7 miles)? that gives me about 6 weeks to train... which is why i need to get to the gym! i've got 2 trips planned between now and the race (3/14), i'm really going to need to stay focused if i want to do this!! i'm hoping that the spin classes i've been taking will help with my stamina, because it would be really great to be able to jog the whole thing (walking 3.7 miles isn't really a challenge... except for the starting at 8:30am part!).
so that's what's going on with me. almost forgot, the scale is doing exactly what it's supposed to do when i'm on track. i'll be posting an actual weight on monday, and i'm confident i'll be showing a loss for january!
alright... off to the gym for me!
thursday was a good day, and so was yesterday. i didn't read my response cards or advantage cards, but i was mindful of my eating and felt good overall. today i'm going to be helping my sister pack and do some moving... maybe painting, too. i'm not sure what time i need to get over there, but my plan is to head to the gym for some treadmill intervals before we get started (i'm leaving as soon as i get this posted!).
did i mention that my trainer wants me to do the st patty's day dash (3.7 miles)? that gives me about 6 weeks to train... which is why i need to get to the gym! i've got 2 trips planned between now and the race (3/14), i'm really going to need to stay focused if i want to do this!! i'm hoping that the spin classes i've been taking will help with my stamina, because it would be really great to be able to jog the whole thing (walking 3.7 miles isn't really a challenge... except for the starting at 8:30am part!).
so that's what's going on with me. almost forgot, the scale is doing exactly what it's supposed to do when i'm on track. i'll be posting an actual weight on monday, and i'm confident i'll be showing a loss for january!
alright... off to the gym for me!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
I'm back
Why do I do that? Stop blogging. Stop tracking. Stop caring.
Vegas was great. I actually did well with my eating, and even though I didn't get to the gym in the hotel, I still got plenty of exercise. I came home and was actually down a pound. But my whole schedule was just off. There wasn't any good food in the house, so I pretty much ate crap for 5 days… I'm sure it didn't help that it was also TOM. But I went shopping on Sunday and have been back on track since then. As of this morning, I'm back to my post Vegas weight. I've got my Beck book, journal and response cards with me and am picking up where I left off… making today my day 4.
Today is strength training followed by spin… so exercise is covered. Back to focusing on slowing down when I'm eating and really being mindful. Not sure why that seems to be so hard for me, but I guess that just means there's plenty of room to improve!!
My sister is having surgery today, so I'm going to see her after work. That might make dinner plans a bit off, but I'm going to take a Luna bar with me just in case I'm stuck.
Posting this from my iPhone, so I'm going to cut it short. I'll update later with how the day went!
Vegas was great. I actually did well with my eating, and even though I didn't get to the gym in the hotel, I still got plenty of exercise. I came home and was actually down a pound. But my whole schedule was just off. There wasn't any good food in the house, so I pretty much ate crap for 5 days… I'm sure it didn't help that it was also TOM. But I went shopping on Sunday and have been back on track since then. As of this morning, I'm back to my post Vegas weight. I've got my Beck book, journal and response cards with me and am picking up where I left off… making today my day 4.
Today is strength training followed by spin… so exercise is covered. Back to focusing on slowing down when I'm eating and really being mindful. Not sure why that seems to be so hard for me, but I guess that just means there's plenty of room to improve!!
My sister is having surgery today, so I'm going to see her after work. That might make dinner plans a bit off, but I'm going to take a Luna bar with me just in case I'm stuck.
Posting this from my iPhone, so I'm going to cut it short. I'll update later with how the day went!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
check in day 3
oops... i'm a little late with this! yesterday was pretty good. down .4 lbs. i read my response and advantage cards, wrote down a few memories and gave my self lots of credit for doing well and making good choices. so, friday is out to lunch day. we usually go to the same place every week and i order the same thing (i've got the nutritional info, so i know what i'm working with). but we decided to go somewhere else for lunch... and it's a place that doesn't have their info available, so i had to make the best choice i could. thankfully, the friend i was with is doing weight watchers, so also tries to find healthy choices. in the end, we split the daily lunch special, which was a crab cake sandwich (it was pretty small and the crab cake was baked) and a steak salad (dressing on the side). i felt pretty good about that choice... and then they brought out the bread basket. neither one of us said anything about it... but neither of us touched it either... go us!! then they brought out our lunch. they were kind enough to split everything in the kitchen, which was nice... but that also meant we both got full servings of sweet potato fries. and i had a moment when the response cards really worked. i hadn't PLANNED for the fries. would you care to guess how many of them i ate? that would be not a single one... go me!!!
i did a bit of walking around yesterday, but not anything that i can really count as exercise... if it was 10 minutes i'd be surprised. so i'm calling it my rest day, and will resume tonight with a walk with the dog after dinner. speaking of dinner, we're going out for birthday dinner with a friend to a greek restaurant. they don't have nutritional info, but they do have their menu posted. so i will be ordering a souvlaki salad with chicken... dressing on the side. i may order a cup of avgolemino soup (so yummy!) if people are ordering appetizers... but we'll see!
was down another .6 this morning, and so far so good with how my day has gone. i leave in the morning for las vegas, and have been thinking about how i can do my best there. i'm thinking that i'll do lots of walking around instead of just parking myself at a slot machine... and i'm taking workout clothes and plan to get at least 30 minutes on the treadmill each day. i won't be able to weigh in while i'm gone, but i know i can be smart about things! TOM is due to start mid-week... so who knows what the scale will say wednesday morning (i get home tuesday night). so this is probably my last post til tuesday or wednesday... but don't worry... i'll be back!
i did a bit of walking around yesterday, but not anything that i can really count as exercise... if it was 10 minutes i'd be surprised. so i'm calling it my rest day, and will resume tonight with a walk with the dog after dinner. speaking of dinner, we're going out for birthday dinner with a friend to a greek restaurant. they don't have nutritional info, but they do have their menu posted. so i will be ordering a souvlaki salad with chicken... dressing on the side. i may order a cup of avgolemino soup (so yummy!) if people are ordering appetizers... but we'll see!
was down another .6 this morning, and so far so good with how my day has gone. i leave in the morning for las vegas, and have been thinking about how i can do my best there. i'm thinking that i'll do lots of walking around instead of just parking myself at a slot machine... and i'm taking workout clothes and plan to get at least 30 minutes on the treadmill each day. i won't be able to weigh in while i'm gone, but i know i can be smart about things! TOM is due to start mid-week... so who knows what the scale will say wednesday morning (i get home tuesday night). so this is probably my last post til tuesday or wednesday... but don't worry... i'll be back!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
day 2 check-in
well, today went pretty well. i weighed myself this morning and was down 1.2 lbs from yesterday (and back to my pre-weekend WTF weight). i made a point of eating more slowly today, though i did still eat at my desk at lunch. when i was cleaning up after dinner last night, i resisted the urge to just have a few more bites... i was done eating and wasn't sitting down, so no nibbles for me. i must say, i was pretty proud of myself for that. i did have a little slip up this morning when i was getting my food ready for the day and i licked the spoon i had used to dish out a snack. i did it automatically without even thinking, but as soon as i did it, i realized that even though there was virtually nothing on the spoon... that's part of the habit that i need to break.
it was my friend's birthday today, and she wanted to go out for a drink after work. my initial response was to say no, but then i looked at my food for the day and decided that i could make it fit into my plan. i had two drinks and 2 pieces of a 6 inch pizza (thin crust, very light cheese) and counted that as my afternoon snack. and even after eating dinner, i was still within my calorie range for the day. so i consider that a success!
today was also my day to lift weights with my trainer, followed by an hour long spin class. last week was the first time i did them together, and i was HURTING. today was still rough, but much better than last week. the best part about spin is that if i keep it up, by spring i'll be able to go on some nice bike rides on my own bike!
so my struggle continues to be around slowing down and focusing just on eating when i eat. i can't seem to shake this feeling of needing to do something else at the same time! i think if i follow thru on making space for a table at home and making myself leave my desk at work, it'll be easier to really focus on savoring my food. tomorrow, i'm going out to lunch with a friend... it's our regular friday thing... so i'll just focus on eating more slowly.
i'm really liking having the response cards and find that they're already making an impact on my thinking. but i'm not going to take it for granted and stop... i'm going to keep reading them every day until i reach the point that i wake up in the morning with the thoughts already in my head! i'm going to make this work! i have the tools i need and the support of other people on this journey with me! i can... and i will... succeed!
it was my friend's birthday today, and she wanted to go out for a drink after work. my initial response was to say no, but then i looked at my food for the day and decided that i could make it fit into my plan. i had two drinks and 2 pieces of a 6 inch pizza (thin crust, very light cheese) and counted that as my afternoon snack. and even after eating dinner, i was still within my calorie range for the day. so i consider that a success!
today was also my day to lift weights with my trainer, followed by an hour long spin class. last week was the first time i did them together, and i was HURTING. today was still rough, but much better than last week. the best part about spin is that if i keep it up, by spring i'll be able to go on some nice bike rides on my own bike!
so my struggle continues to be around slowing down and focusing just on eating when i eat. i can't seem to shake this feeling of needing to do something else at the same time! i think if i follow thru on making space for a table at home and making myself leave my desk at work, it'll be easier to really focus on savoring my food. tomorrow, i'm going out to lunch with a friend... it's our regular friday thing... so i'll just focus on eating more slowly.
i'm really liking having the response cards and find that they're already making an impact on my thinking. but i'm not going to take it for granted and stop... i'm going to keep reading them every day until i reach the point that i wake up in the morning with the thoughts already in my head! i'm going to make this work! i have the tools i need and the support of other people on this journey with me! i can... and i will... succeed!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
diet buddy
so i'm reading/working the beck diet for life, and one of the tasks is to find a diet buddy. since i don't have any people around me that can be there for me every day, i've decided to use this blog as my diet buddy... so that means i will be updating daily (unless i'm out of town... which does happen on occassion!). i will also be checking in with my trainer twice a week, and will most likely share the book with him once i'm done reading it (for the first time... i have a feeling it's one that i might need to go back and re-read every once in a while!). anyway, in my daily posts you can expect to see:
~daily change in weight
~whether i completed my tasks
~plan for how i will complete tasks the next day for tasks i don't complete
~requests for help in figuring out what to do
so far, it feels like my biggest challenge is eating slowly and enjoying every bite. i tend to not pay much attention when i'm eating at home because i'm sitting on the couch in front of the tv or laptop (no dining room table in the house!). i also tend to snack while i'm preparing food or cleaning up after meals, so i need to put a stop to that as well. when i'm at work, i usually work thru lunch and eat at my desk. so i need to figure out some better options that will allow me to focus on enjoying and savoring my food. the ideas i've come up with will require some work on my part to prepare, so it will take a few days to make them happen, but here's what i'm thinking.
for home - clear a small space in the corner of the kitchen that's big enough for a tiny table and make that my designated eating area at home
for work - no more eating at my desk. there are other vacant desks in my office, and starting tomorrow, i will eat there.
tonight will be the first day of completing the success skills checklist... i'll post how i did tomorrow!
~daily change in weight
~whether i completed my tasks
~plan for how i will complete tasks the next day for tasks i don't complete
~requests for help in figuring out what to do
so far, it feels like my biggest challenge is eating slowly and enjoying every bite. i tend to not pay much attention when i'm eating at home because i'm sitting on the couch in front of the tv or laptop (no dining room table in the house!). i also tend to snack while i'm preparing food or cleaning up after meals, so i need to put a stop to that as well. when i'm at work, i usually work thru lunch and eat at my desk. so i need to figure out some better options that will allow me to focus on enjoying and savoring my food. the ideas i've come up with will require some work on my part to prepare, so it will take a few days to make them happen, but here's what i'm thinking.
for home - clear a small space in the corner of the kitchen that's big enough for a tiny table and make that my designated eating area at home
for work - no more eating at my desk. there are other vacant desks in my office, and starting tomorrow, i will eat there.
tonight will be the first day of completing the success skills checklist... i'll post how i did tomorrow!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
WTF???
so i was cruising right along... feeling good... doing what i needed to do... and then it all fell apart. i haven't exercised or tracked my food since thursday... and my eating has been pretty bad. i've been trying to figure out WHY and i've come up with a few things.
first, my husband left town on thursday night, so i've been home alone. we went out to dinner before he left and i logged my food and was over on calories. but that was ok because i lifted weights and did a spin class that day, so i really wasn't too concerned. but when i got home from dropping him off at the airport at 11:30pm, instead of just going to bed, i ate some leftovers from dinner the night before... which put me WAY over on calories for the day. i ended up staying up way too late, and had to get up for work in the morning... plus i had plans to go out to lunch AND out for drinks after work for a friends birthday. not enough sleep + not my usual meal plan + drinks = bad news! should've had a light dinner, but instead i polished off the rest of the leftovers from wednesday night! and yesterday i didn't have any of my usual foods (going grocery shopping shortly!!), so was eating whatever was around... not good.
for some reason, when i'm home alone, i seem to get it into my head that i can go off plan. and what's bizarre is that it's not like my husband CARES what i eat, so why i feel compelled to eat crap when he's NOT here is just beyond me. i don't think i'm lonely... but maybe i am. and i'm sure the lack of sleep & drinks just made it that much easier for me to not care.
another thing that i thought about is that i've started reading beck diet for life, which i'm really hoping is going to help me get my head on straight. but i think there's part of me that looks at actually starting the work as another diet day 1... so i need to eat all the crap that i won't be able to eat anymore. i know... totally backwards since that totally NOT what beck is about!
so, what am i going to do now? clearly i have some work to do! i did go out today and got the supplies i need for beck (cards, journal, etc), and i'm about to plan the menu for the week and go grocery shopping. i'm going to log the food i've had so far today and get back on the wagon with that, too.
i hate that i have to fight myself to do what i need to do. why can't my brain just get on board with this???
first, my husband left town on thursday night, so i've been home alone. we went out to dinner before he left and i logged my food and was over on calories. but that was ok because i lifted weights and did a spin class that day, so i really wasn't too concerned. but when i got home from dropping him off at the airport at 11:30pm, instead of just going to bed, i ate some leftovers from dinner the night before... which put me WAY over on calories for the day. i ended up staying up way too late, and had to get up for work in the morning... plus i had plans to go out to lunch AND out for drinks after work for a friends birthday. not enough sleep + not my usual meal plan + drinks = bad news! should've had a light dinner, but instead i polished off the rest of the leftovers from wednesday night! and yesterday i didn't have any of my usual foods (going grocery shopping shortly!!), so was eating whatever was around... not good.
for some reason, when i'm home alone, i seem to get it into my head that i can go off plan. and what's bizarre is that it's not like my husband CARES what i eat, so why i feel compelled to eat crap when he's NOT here is just beyond me. i don't think i'm lonely... but maybe i am. and i'm sure the lack of sleep & drinks just made it that much easier for me to not care.
another thing that i thought about is that i've started reading beck diet for life, which i'm really hoping is going to help me get my head on straight. but i think there's part of me that looks at actually starting the work as another diet day 1... so i need to eat all the crap that i won't be able to eat anymore. i know... totally backwards since that totally NOT what beck is about!
so, what am i going to do now? clearly i have some work to do! i did go out today and got the supplies i need for beck (cards, journal, etc), and i'm about to plan the menu for the week and go grocery shopping. i'm going to log the food i've had so far today and get back on the wagon with that, too.
i hate that i have to fight myself to do what i need to do. why can't my brain just get on board with this???
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
new trainer
i had my first workout with my new trainer this morning, and it went really well! i think he's going to be a good fit for me. he's already made me commit to going to spin class with him tomorrow at lunch time and again on thursday after we finish our next workout. so yay for good change!
as much as i hate having to get up early, i feel so much better during the day when i work out earlier. we still haven't figured out what our regular schedule is going to be... he wants to wait until he can see some of the data from my bodybugg to see what my burn is during different activities... so that makes sense. if things go well on thursday with the workout/spin combo, that might be our regular schedule... who knows.
walking the dog last night was really nice, even though it was raining a bit. thankfully, i went shortly after i got home instead of waiting until after dinner. i've noticed that if i go to late, i have a really hard time getting to sleep... i'm blaming it on the exercise endorphins! the plan is to take her out when i get home tonight as well, and then i think tomorrow is going to be the big day to try to get back to morning walks... we'll see how that goes!
i'm still tracking my food... today is day 9! i feel more in control when i track... i'm not really sure why. i suppose in some ways it takes away the temptation. do i really want to figure out how to log that? sometimes the answer is yes. but more often than not, it's no. so i just stick with what i've planned and go on with my day. i guess the next thing i need to figure out is what are the things that have caused me to STOP tracking and come up with a plan for the future. it's easier to do that when things are going well that when i've derailed!
i'm feeling good about how things are going and hope that feeling sticks around. i've started thinking about my upcoming trip to las vegas. i need to come up with a plan for myself about how to make the best of it. my biggest concern is that not only will i be eating out for every meal and drinking way more than usual (which is not much at all!) and not exercising as strenuously... but i'm pretty sure i'll be battling the pms demons at the same time. it could be a recipe for disaster... so i really need a plan! guess i know what i'll be thinking about on my walk tonight!
as much as i hate having to get up early, i feel so much better during the day when i work out earlier. we still haven't figured out what our regular schedule is going to be... he wants to wait until he can see some of the data from my bodybugg to see what my burn is during different activities... so that makes sense. if things go well on thursday with the workout/spin combo, that might be our regular schedule... who knows.
walking the dog last night was really nice, even though it was raining a bit. thankfully, i went shortly after i got home instead of waiting until after dinner. i've noticed that if i go to late, i have a really hard time getting to sleep... i'm blaming it on the exercise endorphins! the plan is to take her out when i get home tonight as well, and then i think tomorrow is going to be the big day to try to get back to morning walks... we'll see how that goes!
i'm still tracking my food... today is day 9! i feel more in control when i track... i'm not really sure why. i suppose in some ways it takes away the temptation. do i really want to figure out how to log that? sometimes the answer is yes. but more often than not, it's no. so i just stick with what i've planned and go on with my day. i guess the next thing i need to figure out is what are the things that have caused me to STOP tracking and come up with a plan for the future. it's easier to do that when things are going well that when i've derailed!
i'm feeling good about how things are going and hope that feeling sticks around. i've started thinking about my upcoming trip to las vegas. i need to come up with a plan for myself about how to make the best of it. my biggest concern is that not only will i be eating out for every meal and drinking way more than usual (which is not much at all!) and not exercising as strenuously... but i'm pretty sure i'll be battling the pms demons at the same time. it could be a recipe for disaster... so i really need a plan! guess i know what i'll be thinking about on my walk tonight!
Monday, January 4, 2010
no more lazy mornings
i'm not a morning person, but i've realized that there are not enough waking hours for me to be lazy in the morning... so something's gotta give! tomorrow morning i'm going to work out with my new trainer at 9am, so that's a start. i talked to him this morning and i'm getting more and more excited about the change. he (strongly) encourages the people he trains to take a spin class with him on mondays and wednesdays, so i've got those on my calendar now. i'm not sure if i'll be able to make it every time as it's a 12pm class, which means being out of the office from 11:30-1:30 (need time to get there, change, shower, etc), but i'm going to try. this is also part of what prompted my first comment about not being lazy in the morning! one of my problems is figuring out what to do about walking my dog. when i do cardio at the gym, i get this thing in my head that tells me i don't need to go for a walk... but the dog doesn't agree! and the reality is that i can't have too much activity in a day, so i need to turn off the voice that tells me that cardio at the gym entitles me to sit on my butt for the rest of the day!
my plan for tomorrow is to do cardio after my workout, so it'll be a good burn day! and it'll also be a good oportunity for me to practice quieting the voice in my head!!
tonight is definitely a walk night... even if it is raining. i need to stop making excuses for myself and just get myself back in the habit of MOVING!!! i'll let you know how that goes!
my plan for tomorrow is to do cardio after my workout, so it'll be a good burn day! and it'll also be a good oportunity for me to practice quieting the voice in my head!!
tonight is definitely a walk night... even if it is raining. i need to stop making excuses for myself and just get myself back in the habit of MOVING!!! i'll let you know how that goes!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
haven't done that in a long time
i went to the gym today and lifted weights... all by myself! i honestly can't remember the last time i did that. i used to lift on my own at least 2-3 days a week... and that was in addition to 1 or 2 with my trainer! and then i got lazy. maybe not lazy. i just went from being unemployed to working full time. i do miss being unemployed... especially when it comes to exercise. for that 6 months, i was spending 2+ hours a day in the gym almost every day... and i felt fantastic! but working full time and taking care of all of the other things i need to do... well, 2 hours a day just isn't realistic. but what is? is it realistic to think that i have 1 hour a day to spend at the gym? we make time for things that are important, so i suppose on a lot of levels, it really comes down to me deciding it's important enough to make the time.
in other news, i finally got my copy of the complete beck diet for life. there's a group of people, spearheaded by jen of priorfatgirl.com fame, all reading it, so i figured i'd jump on board. i have the other beck book, but i've never actually read it, but i've heard good things about it, so i'm hopeful about this one. so much of my lack of success with losing weight is in my head... so i'm going to actually take the time and do the work and see if i can tame the negative voices in my head!!!
i've been weighing myself daily again, because that's what worked for me in the past. i was up .2 lbs yesterday and another .4 today, but i'm not stressing about it. i know i've been doing what i need to do and i'll continue with that. if i see a big jump, then i'll be worried! for now, i'm chalking it up to normal daily fluctuations. and besides, i'm only having an official weigh in once a month!
in other news, i finally got my copy of the complete beck diet for life. there's a group of people, spearheaded by jen of priorfatgirl.com fame, all reading it, so i figured i'd jump on board. i have the other beck book, but i've never actually read it, but i've heard good things about it, so i'm hopeful about this one. so much of my lack of success with losing weight is in my head... so i'm going to actually take the time and do the work and see if i can tame the negative voices in my head!!!
i've been weighing myself daily again, because that's what worked for me in the past. i was up .2 lbs yesterday and another .4 today, but i'm not stressing about it. i know i've been doing what i need to do and i'll continue with that. if i see a big jump, then i'll be worried! for now, i'm chalking it up to normal daily fluctuations. and besides, i'm only having an official weigh in once a month!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
balance
i tracked my food again yesterday, so that's now 5 days in a row... it's been a while since that happened! i didn't get out for any cardio... instead i spent the day waiting for hubby to decide what he wanted to do. i tend to put what i want/need to do on hold OFTEN because i'm waiting to see what HE wants to do, and i really need to figure out a better solution, because more often than not, it ends up with both of us doing nothing, and that's not really working for me!!
i've got my list of things that i want/need to do this weekend, and that list includes getting to the gym for cardio & weights! now i just need to figure out what i'm doing today and what can wait til tomorrow.
it's so frustrating sometimes. we both work full time, but when he gets home, his work is done and my second job is just beginning. i've tried to explain to him that i need his help... i need him to TAKE RESPONSIBILITIES for some of the stuff involved in keeping the house in order (and by take responsibility, i mean do things without being asked), but so far, it hasn't worked. so instead, i continue to struggle with finding time to do everything... taking care of myself, the house, the dog AND him! i wish i could get him to embrace a healthier lifestyle, because then that would be something that I NEED TO DO that we could do together, but i don't see that happening any time soon.
it seems like when i get to the point that i'm really trying to focus on me and taking care of myself, things between he and i suffers. and historically, things get to a point where i feel like i either need to end things or just cave and go back to how things have always been. what i need to do is find a happy medium, where i can take care of myself and have him be supportive by helping out. but i can only change myself, so that's what i'm going to do... focus on me! i just hope he can figure out how to be a part of that instead of making me feel like he's just one more obstacle for me to overcome!
i've got my list of things that i want/need to do this weekend, and that list includes getting to the gym for cardio & weights! now i just need to figure out what i'm doing today and what can wait til tomorrow.
it's so frustrating sometimes. we both work full time, but when he gets home, his work is done and my second job is just beginning. i've tried to explain to him that i need his help... i need him to TAKE RESPONSIBILITIES for some of the stuff involved in keeping the house in order (and by take responsibility, i mean do things without being asked), but so far, it hasn't worked. so instead, i continue to struggle with finding time to do everything... taking care of myself, the house, the dog AND him! i wish i could get him to embrace a healthier lifestyle, because then that would be something that I NEED TO DO that we could do together, but i don't see that happening any time soon.
it seems like when i get to the point that i'm really trying to focus on me and taking care of myself, things between he and i suffers. and historically, things get to a point where i feel like i either need to end things or just cave and go back to how things have always been. what i need to do is find a happy medium, where i can take care of myself and have him be supportive by helping out. but i can only change myself, so that's what i'm going to do... focus on me! i just hope he can figure out how to be a part of that instead of making me feel like he's just one more obstacle for me to overcome!
Friday, January 1, 2010
january 1, 2010
got on the scale this morning for a starting weight... 228.0. i'm not happy with it, but it is what it is... and it's going downhill from here! i'm going to post my weight on the 1st of each month... so we'll see what kind of progress i make!
last night was very low key. we took the dog for a walk, watched the ball drop in times square, watched the fireworks at the space needle and called it a night. i bought a bottle of champagne, but didn't even open it. and somehow i managed to forget to eat dinner last night! i couldn't figure out why i was STARVING at 11:30, which was way to late for dinner, so i had a big spoonful of peanut butter and called it good. ended up at 1049 calories for the day... oops! after the workout at the gym and the walk, i'm pretty sure my body was wanting more than that, but oh well. at least i know i was at a calorie deficit for the day!
my first workout with my new trainer is going to be on tuesday, so that means 4 days without strength training unless i work out on my own. so i'm thinking that i'm going to get myself to the gym this weekend and finally get myself back into workout out on my own. i love having a trainer and the accountability, but i'd rather have that money for other things... and i know what i need to do, so i need to just do it! i definitely need to get some cardio in as well. hopefully the weather will be ok, so i can just walk with the dog. it's hard because i much prefer walking with the dog, but i know that i get a better workout on the cardio equipment at the gym. what to do?!
i do need to go shopping soon for new sports bras and workout clothes... maybe this weekend. it's so hard to find clothes in my size that are appropriate for working out!! but the bras can't wait... i really should do that this weekend! and i know the girls will thank me!
last night was very low key. we took the dog for a walk, watched the ball drop in times square, watched the fireworks at the space needle and called it a night. i bought a bottle of champagne, but didn't even open it. and somehow i managed to forget to eat dinner last night! i couldn't figure out why i was STARVING at 11:30, which was way to late for dinner, so i had a big spoonful of peanut butter and called it good. ended up at 1049 calories for the day... oops! after the workout at the gym and the walk, i'm pretty sure my body was wanting more than that, but oh well. at least i know i was at a calorie deficit for the day!
my first workout with my new trainer is going to be on tuesday, so that means 4 days without strength training unless i work out on my own. so i'm thinking that i'm going to get myself to the gym this weekend and finally get myself back into workout out on my own. i love having a trainer and the accountability, but i'd rather have that money for other things... and i know what i need to do, so i need to just do it! i definitely need to get some cardio in as well. hopefully the weather will be ok, so i can just walk with the dog. it's hard because i much prefer walking with the dog, but i know that i get a better workout on the cardio equipment at the gym. what to do?!
i do need to go shopping soon for new sports bras and workout clothes... maybe this weekend. it's so hard to find clothes in my size that are appropriate for working out!! but the bras can't wait... i really should do that this weekend! and i know the girls will thank me!
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